Conflict In All Its Glory

Elemental Conflict Management

Conflict is just something that is expected in life, whether it is interpersonal, work related, or a personal internal conflict. Conflicts can be resolved. Conflicts have certain elements just like any other form of communication. There are aspects of conflicts that allow for certain creativity and there are areas of conflict that call for doing what has always been done. Just as there are ways to effectively communicate, there are effective ways to conflict resolution and management. The elements and skills required for conflict management are as essential as learning to talk or walk, given the right tools, conflicts can be resolved and managing them can be learned.

Elements of Conflict Management

·     Learn to acknowledge the position of others

·   Actively listen

·   Gain effective questioning techniques

·    Accurately interpret non-verbal cues

·   Use collaborative communication

·    Learn to think creatively in order to resolve manage oneself

·    Master our emotions and our thoughts (Getting emotions under control can often time be one of the simplest ways to manage a conflict.)

Putting even one of these elements into practice could help lead to a better managing of conflicts of the everyday sort.

  Just by changing our minds, there can be a shift in the conflict itself. This shift can lead to a new perspective, which then opens the door for seeing solutions and ideas that perhaps were not apparent before.

Laughter is the Best Medicine

Once solution to conflict management may be humor. “Humor, creativity, and invention follow precise general patterns that occur much more frequently then we realize and that applying such knowledge in appropriate situations can help us escape vicious cycles of miscommunication and conflict” (Sclavi, 2008, p. 158).

Communication Fits In

At the heart of all resolutions and management of conflict is the art of communication. Communication skills are defined as, “the successful performance of a communicative behavior and the ability to repeat such a behavior” (Cahn & Abigail, 2007, p. 40).   Managing conflict has the ability to repeat a “successful communication behavior” during a “dynamic, ongoing” process, leads to effective communication and better resolutions to conflicts. The ability to have a dialogue with oneself before a conflict, will offer a way to know what one wants to say, even if there is no way of knowing what the other party will say. It is a precursor to the actual conflict itself. It also allows for one to keep emotions at a level that is not escalated.  

The Process of Conflict

·         The Prelude

·         The Triggering

·         The Initiation

·         The Differentiation

·         The Resolution

However, some conflicts get stuck and continue to happen over and over and over because of a communication breakdown. Knowing how to communicate effectively can help break the cycle a conflict may be stuck in.

Communication Climate

Find and maintain 

•  A climate of openness
• Assertiveness
• Cooperation.  

This type of environment allows for a different type of communication. It offers a secure arena where conflicts can be handled in a manner that is not threatening to any party of the conflict. If those involved in the conflict have stopped and calmed down before they initiate any conversation, have taken the time to think about what they want from the conflict, are willing to listen actively, and communicate in a manner that is none aggressive, then the doors for an effective managing of the conflict is well on its way.

Conclusion

“If we feel safe enough to assert our interests, needs, and goals, listen to others, and cooperate in the process of achieving an understanding, we are more likely to cooperate and collaborate”  (Cahn & Abigail, 2007, p 192)

The elements and skills required for conflict management are as essential as learning to talk or walk, given the right tools, conflicts can be resolved and managing them can be learned, utilized and effective.

References

Cahn, D., & Abigail, R., (2007) Managing conflict through communication 3^rd ed. Boston: Pearson education Inc

Kohlrieser, G.  (2007). Six essential skills for managing conflict. Perspectives for Managers,(149), 1-4.  Retrieved July 16, 2010, from ABI/INFORM Global. (Document ID: 1300014231)

Sclavi, M.. (2008). The role of play and humor in creative conflict management. Negotiation Journal, 24(2), 157-180.  Retrieved July 16, 2010, from ABI/INFORM Global. (Document ID: 1473329661).

Taylor, K., Mesmer-Magnus, J., & Burns, T.. (2008). Teaching the art of negotiation: improving students' negotiating confidence and perceptions of effectiveness. Journal of Education for Business, 83(3), 135-140.  Retrieved July 19, 2010, from ABI/INFORM Global. (Document ID: 1517979611).